Working with Uncooperative Families
Last updated: October 7, 2008
Table of Contents
2. Recognition and understanding
2.i Types of uncooperativeness
There are four types of uncooperativeness:
Ambivalence: can be seen when people are always late for appointments, or repeatedly make excuses for missing them; when they change the conversation away from uncomfortable topics and when they use dismissive body language. Ambivalence is the most common reaction and may not amount to uncooperativeness. All service users are ambivalent at some stage in the process which is related to the dependence involved in being supported by others. It may reflect cultural differences, being unclear what is expected, or poor experiences of previous involvement with professionals. Ambivalence may need to be acknowledged, but it can be worked through.
Avoidance: a very common method of uncooperativeness, including avoiding appointments, missing meetings, and cutting visits short due to other apparently important activity (often because the prospect of involvement makes the person anxious and they hope to escape it). They may have a difficulty, have something to hide, resent outside interference or find staff changes another painful loss. They may face up to the contact as they realise the professional is resolute in their intention, and may become more able to engage as they perceive the professional’s concern for them and their wish to help.
Confrontation: includes challenging professionals, provoking arguments, extreme avoidance e.g. not answering the door as opposed to not being in and often indicates a deep-seated lack of trust leading to a ‘fight’ rather than ‘flight’ response to difficult situations. Parents may fear, perhaps realistically, that their children may be taken away or they may be reacting to them having being taken away. They may have difficulty in consistently seeing the professional’s good intent and be suspicious of their motives. It is important for the professional to be clear about their role and purpose, demonstrate a concern to help, but not to expect an open relationship to begin with. However, the parent’s uncooperativeness must be challenged, so they become aware the professional / agency will not give up. This may require the professional to cope with numerous displays of confrontation and aggression until eventual co-operation may be achieved.
Violence: threatened or actual violence by a small minority of people is the most difficult of uncooperative behaviours for the professional / agency to engage with. It may reflect a deep and longstanding fear and projected hatred of authority figures. People may have experience of getting their way through intimidation and violent behaviour. The professional / agency should be realistic about the child or parent’s capacity for change in the context of an offer of help with the areas that need to be addressed.
2.ii Reasons for uncooperativeness
There are a variety of reasons why some families may be uncooperative with professionals, including the fact that they:
- do not want their privacy invaded
- have something to hide
- refuse to believe they have a problem
- resent outside interference
- have cultural differences
- lack understanding about what is being expected of them
- have poor previous experience of professional involvement
- resent staff changes
- dislike/fear or distrust authority figures
- fear their children will be taken away
- fear being judged to be poor parents because of substance misuse; mental health problems
- feel they have nothing to lose (e.g. where the children have already been removed)
- have developed a habit of in action/inertia
- do not believe compliance will make any difference
There are a range of social, cultural and psychological factors that influence the behaviour of parents. The more uncooperative the family, the more likely it is that the main influences are psychological.
In general parents will try to regain control over their lives, but they may be overwhelmed by pain, depression, anxiety and guilt resulting from the earlier losses in their lives. Paradoxically, the uncooperativeness may be the moment at which the person opens up their feelings, albeit negative ones, at the prospect of professional intervention. They are unlikely to be aware of this process going on.
